February 13-19
Bigger
Look at how much bigger you are now. You are so much to love.
♒ Aquarius: January 20–February 18:
Remember the time you were so drunk with love and sunshine, remember that you didn’t notice your hunger or thirst. You didn’t notice all the wakefulness. You remember realizing you had worn your bathing suit on a 90 degree rotation, a quarter turn to the right, with the leg around the waist, and the crotch on the side. It will be like that sort of party in 1993. That memory will force the light into you for fuel on Valentine’s.
♓ Pisces: February 19–March 20:
Shoulder bags instead of fanny are where you hold your treasure now. This week we all watch you walk with the asymmetry of a person of influence. You will be fat with wisdom and drape yourself in organza. Stunningly loveable light-walking, stardust, pink aura, Body-Shop-banana smelling divine friends, we will warm you with our love for you.
♈ Aries: March 21–April 19:
No one is fighting with you, so you need to fight yourself. The rest of us are watching you feeling high with opium dens moonlight, and that is more powerful than you. (I guess we are fighting now). This means that you can pick one of you, and the other acquiesces. We honestly do not care who you choose.
♉ Taurus: April 20–May 20:
You loved when you discovered that you can fist fight in water. The push-and-pull of water brings you exactly where you want to be. The pressure of five oceans wraps around you like a shell. We are in your shell with you. Thank you for making such a lovely warm home. Please open your doors to the neighbourhood this week.
♊ Gemini: May 21–June 21:
I love you holding my hand while we walk in the woods at night. Everyone says that a full moon gives you light to navigate, but those everyone’s have never been outside at night, alone. I love you running to catch me and hold my hand. I love you talking to me through the woods. I love that this is our chance.
♋ Cancer: June 22–July 22:
This is it buddy. You get to choose where you want to be. Your heart is the smartest thing about you. You are the oracle for our Valentine’s life. Do you remember the first person who showed you how to chop an apple in half to get a heart? I do. If you forget, you can have my memory for keeps.
♌ Leo: July 23–August 22:
The only time it matters if your screen is cracked, is when you kiss your reflection (with tongue). You can fix the sharp edges of your reflection before Thursday, but not after. I think you need to reflect on what you are ready to eat — are you eating turnip or pear? Are you holding on to my stuff? Give it back.
♍ Virgo: August 23–September 22:
You are doing a lot of damage when you aren’t sitting on your throne. Please remember who you are. You are Capital Letter you. Please add an extra syllable to draw your beautiful name out. We come to see you this week to say your name, and watch you smile. When I choose the right flavour of lollipop from the Canadian Tire’s check-out, and I have a four-hour sucking candy? I say your name like this feeling.
♎ Libra: September 23–October 23:
I will compliment you on your timing. You orchestrate your dinner parties and sleep for the required amount — a feat in 2023. If the aliens are here, then I trust you will be the ones leading the saving/befriending/loving brigade. Amazing. You are amazing. And the style you choose this weekend will be something sketched on napkins.
♏ Scorpio: October 24–November 21:
The facts that land right now are easy math — mostly sums, or the lower-level times tables. You might be able to do the calculations in pen. If you can teach it to us? Please? We are learning how to do math, so please be ready with metaphors. Bring cookies to help us feel rewarded for thinking.
♐ Sagittarius: November 22–December 21:
You can give everyone your number now! We want to call you! We are so excited to listen to your story, that we are wearing headphones with cushions around our ears. You can help with telling us what the rules really are, and if we are actually enough, and if we could please have some more chocolate now?
♑ Capricorn: December 22–January 19
I’ll remember the inability to daydream if you want to. You are having temporary writer’s block in your imagination, and so you are learning to love having a single insolvable problem. Your ability to notice that you are stuck means the trouble is almost over. The idea that waits for you on the other side of this forecast is favourable and powerful.
