April 11-18

Knit brows

Symmetry is your friend.

♈ Aries: March 21–April 19:
If you find yourself strutting past your crush like you’re a solar eclipse, take stock of the situation and go journal about your expectations and the reality of their emotions. You might be caught in a bit of a celestial swirl right now. You might think you are entertaining them when you’re just annoying. Then again, if they are into you — they’ll hand you a unicycle and ask you to juggle.

♉ Taurus: April 20–May 20:

This is apron-wearing home-bake time, and you are being called on to get deep into the kitchen-witch side of your soul. Check your flexibility about your friendships and treat them like a recipe — sometimes it’s okay to substitute ingredients. You can loosen up and stop predicting disaster in relationships that aren’t going to your plan. Trust the process, and bake a cake.

♊ Gemini: May 21–June 21:
It’s a great week for job interviews, first dates, and knocking on your neighbour’s door to introduce yourself (finally). You’ve got a silver tongue and the people who fall within your sphere feel like they are being warmed by a little sunshine. You’re lucky. Play your lotto numbers and say ‘yes’ a few more times than usual.

♋ Cancer: June 22–July 22:
Before hyperlinks were a thing, you were the clickable spot for connecting dots for the people who ask. Your sappy old heart is ready to loop around a couple of new spots, and you can play matchmaker if you feel like it right now. It’s not manipulative if you make them all cocktails and put on some boomer’s vinyl collection and set the stage for love. By match-making others, the love will come back to you by the truckload.

♌ Leo: July 23–August 22:

If you wanted to cut your bangs or perm your hair, it’s time. The stars and your recent health kick have you in a little glow-worm state. That lion’s mane is the main attraction, and the world is coming to visit you. Experiment. Wear chunk heels. Buy satin jackets. Be you’re own fashion plate and put a new version together for spring.

♍ Virgo: August 23–September 22:
Oh…I know. There are so many morons lurking around you right now. It’s like they are baiting you with bad grammar and horrible manners. Couldn’t they just close their mouth when they chew? Can’t they be bothered to wipe down the sink after they wash their hands? No, friend. They can’t right now. You can do something about it — either go shout into the wind, or stay home alone and organize things this week.

♎ Libra: September 23–October 23:
How does a baseball-level Frankfurter week sound? You’re here. It’s happening. There will be nostalgia, and moments that repeat like hot-dog burps, and you will definitely have proverbial ketchup on your cheek at the most inopportune time. You can choose a team — Mets, Rangers, Jacob, brunch, or IBM. Choose a side and enjoy being a fan of it this week. You’ll make a new friend. That’s why it’s worth it.

♏ Scorpio: October 24–November 21:
The prescription this week is slow-dancing, floor-mopping, and avoiding cheese. It is washing your bedsheets, darning your socks, and balancing on a log across a river. Pick some buds to force blooms, tap dance by yourself, and drink a coffee after 6 p.m. This is your RX for a week that is all kinds of ways for you.

♐ Sagittarius: November 22–December 21:

You have a mouthful of words that are better written in your journal right now. They are safer locked on paper in your sock drawer where you can put them back and blush at the mistakes later. Your idea of honesty is wrong at the moment. You are just being a bit mean. Please take some time to walk silently with your friends and next week will be better.

♑ Capricorn: December 22–January 19

Did you make that list in December about the four or five things you needed to learn this year? And then did you forget about it, except it’s eating at you, and you’re willfully ignoring the pull to the rug-hooking or jello jiggler recipes, or the rudimentary Italian you need to learn? Pick one. Learn a new thing, and make it a habit before the next full moon.

♒ Aquarius: January 20–February 18:

Isn’t it weird what you do every day now? Remember January? You’re in a new skin now, and that’s why it’s all itchy and awkward around the edges. You’re a new version, and it grew when you thought you were lying around, hidden and hiding, and crying a bit. Do not buy new pants this week. You have the comfort in your new skin as a toddler in tie-up shoes. Relax. You’re here for a while. A good thing to do instead of the new window dressings, is to look at yourself in the mirrors. A lot. Self-timer, too.

♓ Pisces: February 19–March 20:

You will strike more things off your to-do list by Wednesday than you’ve been able to tackle since September! The skies are on your side. You have my blessing to book the 2024 solar eclipse off work right now. You have day-planner energy and luck, and what you write in pen is bound to happen.